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Why I became an egg donor

Anne, 29 years old

Occupation: Teacher of music

When I learned about egg donation possibility I had such a period in my life when MANY of my friends were having serious problems with getting pregnant. My best friend couldn't get pregnant. I was just shocked. I have never imagined that this trouble can touch me so close. I was feeling with my friends as if it was happening with me. Apparently, that's why in this very moment the idea about donation has come up in my life. I haven't thought about it too much. I've just understood at once that I I am able to help – doing that is absolutely normal. I am able to share with others that I have in surplus. I didn't think “I have to”, but I thought “it is supposed to be”. Possibly, someday someone will share with me with something what I miss.

Marina, 29 years old

Occupation: marketing analyst

I first became a donor at university when I was donating blood because I understood that it was important. When I found out that oocytes can be donated I decided to look for information on this subject and after that I realized that it is even more important than donate blood because it is a chance not only to save a person's live but to give a new life. New life, new person – it is a gift!!! That's why I give people the opportunity to create a new life.

It is difficult to express the feeling I have. I already have my own children and I cannot imagine my life without them, I can't understand people who don't want to have children.

My life now is sparkling with completely different colours – the laugh of children, catch-up games in the yard, sprays in the swimming pool, fairy-tales in the evening, thousands of “Why?”, tears for not having a chocolate and other unforgettable events.

I want your life to become colourful, too, I want you to enjoy such moments with your children because it is the most important thing!

Don't give up, think positively, believe in yourself and in your future miracle and it will happen.

The miracle will lie in your hands, look at you, smile and you will be the happiest people!

Karina, 24 years old

Occupation: mother and housewife

At my first time I came to the clinic I didn't understand at all what is being a donor. In my understanding it was just a small surgery for a material compensation. I was so mistaking... After having a conversation with doctors, having passed all medical tests I was on my way to the final step – ovary punction. Finally, this day came and everything has gone well. After the punction I had to get medical recommendations from my doctor. Then this special moment came to me. I was waiting in the lounge when I saw a family couple. They were waiting for their visit to a doctor. A woman was very beautiful and I was very curious to look at her. Once I met her look. Our sights crossed each other and what I have reached in her look made my heart tighten. I saw a hope in her eyes... A hope to be a mother and getting the largest happiness in the world  - a beloved child. At once, I thought about my daughter... how much I lover her, what happiness for me is being a mother... And in that moment I realized that I want and I can gift a joy of being parents to people who dream about that. That being a donor for me – is a possibility to gift happiness, joy of maternity and child laugh to people in a large desire of all mentioned. I am incredibly happy I am able to help someone to feel what I feel when I hug and kiss my beloved daughter! And it is really pleasant to know, that someone become happy with my help.

*To keep privacy of our egg donors, all the names of motivation letters' authors were changed.

 

Maria, 29 years old

"Why is it so honorable to be a donor?"

In the past I couldn't seize the extent of infertility problem. Of course, visiting the gynecologist I’ve heard about difficulties related to pregnancy, but I couldn't imagine, how many women can't have a baby. I'm a mother myself and I understand perfectly well, that there's nothing more precious in life then children. No matter what we do, no matter what goals we have, sooner or later, everyone understands that we need to have small native soul nearby.

It would be great, if every woman could have a possibility to conceive, carry and give birth to her baby. And it’s wonderful, that means of modern medicine can help lots of families to have children. Some of my friends had difficulties with conceiving. Some of them during the years couldn't become parents, that’s why I know what it feels like.

To be an egg donor is a very honorable and important mission. Personally for a donor it’s a good chance to control and support her health, to make regularly tests and ultrasounds. The medical risk disturbs me a little, but the benefit — someone's happiness — repays everything...

Once I've already undergone this procedure. In the very beginning I had fears and doubts, but the friend of mine reassured me — she also became an egg donor recently and had only positive experience. And I decided. Everything went well: the team was very pleasant and patient, the handling was kind and attentive. During the whole programme and communication with reception and medical staff I felt myself in safe keeping. Doctors are very attentive and caring, I trusted them absolutely. There's nothing to improve, everything is great.

Summarizing all this, I believe that it's possible and it's necessary to become an Egg Donor. There's no bigger happiness in the World, than holding your baby in your arms. I'm happy to be a part of this and I'm happy to help. Don't be afraid to help to the others.

Anne, 28 years old

"When by chance I saw the announcement about egg donation in a journal, my inner world has changed. Suddenly, I imagined that I really can help some couple to become a full family, to give a birth to their long-awaited child!"

In the modern world, noisy and dynamic, people always hurry up and live not paying attention to simple things.They work and earn money, hoping to receive this way their own piece of happiness. I'm a mother of two children, the most wonderful children in the world! You may say: "All children are wonderful! " and you are absolutely right! That's the reason why I became an egg donor. I wish that a woman, who can't conceive a baby naturally, could carry and give a birth to her unique, the most wonderful baby in the world.

I lived without any thoughts about people, who have difficulties with pregnancy. I was blessed to have a baby anytime I wanted. But when by chance I saw the announcement about egg donation in a journal, my inner world has changed. Suddenly, I imagined that I really can help some couple to become a full family, to give a birth to their long-awaited child!

Without any doubts, I decided to be a donor and my dear family supported my decision. They helped me and supported me on all steps of the programme: during the preparation period and after egg retrieval.

Due to egg donation, I have started to treat motherhood more reverently. After that my family and my children became very special for me. Even my attitude to myself has changed. This is a real happiness for me.

Being an egg donor, I gave to several families an opportunity to experience, what the real true happiness is — to give a birth to their own little miracle. Especially, when thanks to the modern technologies and modern medicine this dream may come true.

Daria, 25 years old

"And when she told me, that she is ready to give up everything in this World if only God could gift her with a child... In this very moment I thought that I am able to help women like her...and despite all fears I decided to go ahead!"

Once I was surfing the internet and by chance found an advertisement on AVA-PETER website that egg donors are required.

From this site I learned about egg donation. I filled out the questionnaire and shortly after was invited to the first consultation. I told about everything to my parents. My mom was against my idea and tried to dissuade me — she was worried about my health and afraid of possible risks. First it also made me doubt and I was close to abandon this idea until I went walking with my child in our usual park where we daily spend our time on a playground. I love to chat there with other moms, I like sharing my motherhood experience and listen to others. But this time I met a woman walking with two children. She was their nanny. As I learned from her, she couldn't have children herself. She told me how she enjoyed walking on a playground, watching other kids; that she was giving all her love to these two boys spending her time with them while their parents were at work. And when she told me, that she is ready to give up everything in this World if only God could gift her with a child... In this very moment I thought that I am able to help women like her...and despite all fears I decided to go ahead! And I went to the clinic and did it! And felt myself just wonderful after all! I did it! I gave someone a chance to have their own child...

As the first time went very well and with no complications at all, I feel that my body and my soul are ready to do this again — to help somebody to find their happiness.

Ekaterina, 23 years old

"To experience the miracle, that is happening with a woman during the pregnancy, delivery and breast-feeding of her baby."

I came to AVA-Peter Clinic one year ago. My first motivation was financial compensation. I planned to spend this money for a trip to the seaside with my daughters. Besides, having children myself, I always sincerely sympathized with women, who desire, but unfortunately can't, have a baby. Why wouldn’t I help them? I believe that every woman wishing to become a mother should have this wonderful chance! To experience the miracle, that is happening with a woman during the pregnancy, delivery and breast-feeding of her baby. Every woman must have a chance to take care of her baby, to fill its first move, to hear the first heart beat and to see the ultrasound picture of her beautiful child! It's the most wonderful thing in the World!

Svetlana, 24 years old

"In my family as well as in my friends’ families there are no fertility problems."

I got pregnant easily and had a healthy pregnancy, so I didn't realize that for some people it could be a real problem. But once I met a young woman, who experienced several unsuccessful attempts of IVF. She told me about her problem and her worries. And I understood that my help can be very important and necessary for someone.

I wish you a healthy and easy pregnancy and a healthy baby!

 

Irina, 22 years old

"From the very first moment when I entered the clinic I knew that I can help infertile people to become parents."

I just wanted to do something good. After I took part in this programme, I realized that I’ve not only received a financial support for my family, but also made a huge contribution to someone’s life.

Nadejda, 24 years old

"I thank all medical staff, especially my doctor for a warm attitude and understanding."

I consider that donation of eggs is a really successful treatment nowadays.

It has given lives to thousands of children and has made happy their parents doomed to ultimate childlessness.
I help the woman to achieve her dream and I’ll get the monetary compensation for it. Nurses are very kind and doctors are very attentive. They are constantly worried about how am I feeling. Everything has passed very well. There were attentive treatment and very polite and patient staff. I felt all the time that I am in safe hands, both in conversation with clerks of registry, with doctors and with nurses. I thank all medical staff, especially my doctor for a warm attitude and understanding.

There is one more plus — coming to clinic you have examination of your organism absolutely free of charge.
Certainly, that is personal business of everyone, but for myself I know that money which I have received have helped me with the solution of many problems.

Larisa, 25 years old

"But I am sure that if people have gone on such complicated procedure the child will be desired for them and they will become good parents."

I have heard earlier that modern technologies on infertility treatment have stepped forward, but I have never especially reflected, how it is carried out in practice.

I have learned about the program on a donor service of oocytes for the first time from the girlfriend. It has turned out that I am quite suitable for the basic requirements — I am not yet 30, I have got my own baby and the main is that I have never complained on health.

I have called to clinic and have registered on the interview. It has been explained in details to me all subtleties of process of taking oocytes and I have been given the impressive list of analyses which are necessary for passing before the medical treatment. After numerous researches I was once again convinced that I am really absolutely healthy and I am suitable for a role of the donor.

It is easier to me to endure a physical pain, than rudeness, but in clinic I have never had to face neither that, nor with another. All employees were polite and affable with me, and medical treatments were absolutely painless. I believe such effect has turned out as a result of a combination of modern techniques and high qualification of doctors. Anyway, I trusted them my body without any fears.

What about the ethical aspect of this point in question? I assist in beginning of new life. What bad here can be? I understand that it will be my child on a genetically point but I won’t get any opportunity to see him or to know about his destiny. But I am sure that if people have gone on such complicated procedure the child will be desired for them and they will become good parents. Anyway, I realise the gravity of a donation and my personal responsibility.

Margarita, 25 years old

"I would like to wish all future parents to love each other; to support each other and what is more never give up! Never put the imaginary boundaries in front of you but only believe you will succeed."

When you hear and see what is going around — you don’t always think about a scale of current events.

There is common statistic about Russia that every 6th couple is infertile. Fortunately, my family didn’t get such sorrow. My husband and I have a wonderful son. I even can't imagine to myself my life without a child. Children are our lives' continue. It is unfair some couples can't have children.

I’ve become a mother when I was 19. I and my husband were only students and many people have told that we were ruining our careers and so on. It was very hard for us to combine upbringing and looking after the baby with studies and temporary earnings (young family is always in need of money for necessities). Young spouses always have to learn an essential lesson to support each other in every hour of need. We were growing up as parents and spouses together with our son. It was so scary to pass exams when were having a child at the age of 2 months. A lecturer of mine said he wouldn’t examine me because I wouldn’t be able to prepare properly for the exam. Then he suggested getting a sabbatical leave. Finally, I have passed not only his exams but all others. On the graduation ceremony some of lecturers were in wonder at my son of three years were sitting near me. They didn’t guess my son’s existence at all.

However time passes and puts many things on their right places. Weak people might have cracked under heavy burdens but the strong ones are getting stronger.

"What does not kill me makes me stronger"
(F. Nietzsche)

After we had graduated from universities we had got a mortgage on a flat. The dream about our own accommodation has come true. We are happy now because many miseries had passed but we had not lost the ability to be glad for every day which was spent together. We have got a family and our own cosy home. And above all we won’t stop on what we have reached.

I would like to wish all future parents to love each other; to support each other and what is more never give up! Never put the imaginary boundaries in front of you but only believe you will succeed. When you have got a faith in a positive outcome of your trouble — you have got 99% of success.

The issue of artificial impregnation and eggs donors is considered by everybody in different ways. Somebody condemns while another ones can’t get another chance to become parents. It is true to fact everybody has a right to become a parent, especially when a future child is so desired.

The church doesn’t approve IVF, because considers "The God does everybody justice". But even vergers do complicated surgeries having cured their diseases. Of course vergers are being only human while the God makes the last decision. Otherwise there has not been any artificial impregnation. The progress doesn’t stop, so why is it prohibited to give to people in need possibility become parents? Why there is only blessing to an adopted child?

I am an egg donor. I am very proud of it. Because I am a mother and I wish the other people to become parents too... Because all have the right to become parents and it is not fair to suffer without children. It is happiness for me to give an opportunity for people to get their dearest hope, their own child.

Ah, than the world would become for us
When in it there would be no children,
There is emptiness behind us
And ahead — only shade of death.

What do the leaves mean without trees?
Both light, and air through them,
Being condensed in sweet, gentle juice,
Moving to trunks and condensing them.

As though leaves in that wood -
The children are for world; with their eyes
We perceive a beauty
Granted by heavens.

(Alexandra Feodorovna Romanova,
A spouse of Nicolay I)

Victoria, 24 years old

"I thought it would be the best choice — helping to a decent woman to become a mother in return for a miracle that I’m a mother."

Hello! I became an egg donor when I was 23 years old. However, I had to be very patient before it has happened. I came to AVA-PETER about two years ago.

When my daughter Victoria was 3 years old she suddenly got sick with angina. The doctors didn’t identify appendicitis because of her little age and it turned into peritonitis. My child was rescued at the last moment but she didn’t come to consciousness after the surgery. The main complication had become pneumonia. I was sitting by her in the resuscitation department and prayed to God for seven days. I was ready to sacrifice my life. The time she has started breathing herself, came to consciousness, has recognized me and started hardly speaking, became the happiest her second birthday for me. Then I’ve decided definitely to render something mine and to do something in return for my child’s life. I was firmly considering my future actions during further three weeks in the resuscitation department, then eventually learned about eggs donation. I thought it would be the best choice — helping to a decent woman to become a mother in return for a miracle that I’m a mother.

I‘ve found a clinic on the internet and made an appointment with the doctor. Frankly speaking, I was very worried about possible refusal and about my ability to overcome the treatments. Fortunately my doubts were unfounded. I was lucky to get Dr. Olga Zaytseff as my doctor. She is so inspiring person, attentive and responsive doctor, an understanding and gentle woman. She had consoled me said I’m appropriate candidate to be a donor. Dr. Olga Zaytseff told me everything about donation and preparation to a complicated process. I started to wait in December 2008.

My daughter recovered in time and all the terrible things of her disease were gradually forgotten. I’ve found my special someone and got married. But I didn’t forget about my promise and was waiting patiently. The delay was probably because I have red hair and brown eyes. Dr. Olga Zaytseff explained such combination is not wide spread.

Eventually, a long-awaited phone call was in 2010. Dr. Olga Zaytseff called and said that there was one recipient who had really needed me. My husband was very worried about me but respected my aspiration. By then my menstrual period was regular and it was shifted just for a couple of days. My level of health was appropriate. I was being prepared for puncture about a week and during that period I was given injections. I came on an empty stomach on an appointment day and I was really nervous. I was treated gently and quietly. When Dr. Olga Zaytseff arrived to the surgery, I got calm and fell asleep. I was awakened very soon. The operation was effective. The nurse put me on a regenerative drip and gave sweets. After a while my husband arrived for me and then I was let go home. I arrived at AVA-PETER again on a next day and was put on a regenerative drip at the second time.

Unfortunately, my body had turned out more delicate than we thought. The stomachache had appeared. I was frightened and asked Dr. Olga Zaytseff to examine me on the next day. She sent me on a drip and explained that due to preparatory medicines the size of the ovaries had increased. The ovaries had put pressure on the surrounding organs which caused my stomachache. I understood that it’s not so terrible in comparison with a good cause I have done. I was being put on a drip for a few days and then everything had passed. There were menstrual period shifts for several times and stomachache came back for a short while afterwards. Everything had passed in a couple of months. I’ve got the donation compensation. We didn’t have a lack of money and spent all the money for our daughter’s presents and entertainment.

Everything is fine now and I’m so grateful to Dr. Olga Zaytseff and her team for professionalism and invaluable support! In spite of everything, I didn’t regret having that clinic or being an egg donor!

Could I be an egg donor at the second time? Maybe, after the birth of my second baby...

Anastasia, 27 years old

At my first visit to the clinic I was undoubtedly nervous. I was nervous likely because the possible complications could occur. And, of cause, you most afraid of obscurity. But when you realize that professionals surround you (from medical nurses to doctors) you start feel much better. What's my donation motivation? First time it was more my interest, than a desire to help other people. A wish to help other people comes unconsciously. Because you make it not for the sake of somebody could consider you as a kind person, or just for telling about it other people. I do it because I have this happiness. My son, who has motivated me for my personal achievements in my career and just in my life. I think those people who come for kids, must be very responsible. They will raise, bring up and love their long-awaited babies. So, why shouldn't we fill this world with good, polite and healthy people? That's why I am here and that's why I am ready to help other people. Of cause, the material compensation is pleasant to get. And I try to invest it to the useful things. But the compensation is not essential, because there are things and there will be things much more important than money. I believe in that and try to improve myself every day. 

 

All names have been changed to keep the privacy of the egg donors.

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A blog by Tone Bråten family counsellor

A blog — to help you on your journey to become parents!

Our patients tell their stories



  • Willeke and Mario from Netherlands come to AVA-Peter for egg donation treatment… Enjoy this touching and sincere documentary by Jorien van Nes